Friday, August 10, 2012

The Sandal Sisters

Our traditional feet in the sand photo opp.
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness... For the past eight years, I've laid claim to my unalienable rights by heading to the Outer Banks (OBX) in North Carolina for a girls' beach weekend. These annual trips keep us connected and sane in a world full of impossible expectations for women. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by everything on my plate and all my goals for the future, I think of OBX. I am reminded that I have wonderful friends who love me just the way I am.

Celebrating my wedding shower in 2011
My Sandal Sisters have supported me every step of the way, even when I was hopelessly lost. They've been there to listen, laugh, cry, empathize, and gently guide me. I am the woman I am today because of these friendships, and I cannot wait to see the women we will become 40 years from now. Who knows we might end up living like The Golden Girls in one of the brightly colored beach houses we rent every year. Our OBX trips will be a major part of our life stories because bonds like we have are special and rare. 

2009

Despite being a ridiculously accomplished group, we aren't worried about impressing each other. In fact, we spend very little time bragging about career and family achievements and more time revealing our fears, insecurities, and foibles. We take comfort in our shared vulnerabilities, but we're quick to remind each other of the amazing gifts we share too. In the midst of all the soul bearing, we still find time to read trashy entertainment magazines, watch college football, walk on the beach, discuss politics, share the latest tech trends, cook gourmet meals, and drink our famous Ballatore mimosas. We hope one day to be featured in an ad campaign for this afforable yet delicious sparkling wine. We'd be lounging on the pristine white beach wearing fashionable sun hats and Jackie-O sunglasses clinking our crystal glasses together in a toast. We've already come up with the tagline, "I simply adore Ballatore."    

Our Baywatch imitation: 
Eat your heart out Pamela Anderson

Our OBX trips started as a bachelorette weekend for my friend Liz who is a PR powerhouse in D.C. In the years since we've celebrated many more marriages and several births including identical twins. We like to joke that Lisa bounced her egg in two because she was training for an Iron Man when she became pregnant. She unknowingly ran a marathon while carrying the girls. I told you this is an impressive group. Lisa summed up our OBX weekends in her own blog a few years back. "The five of us are all Longhorns and began our careers in public relations. We are feminists and well-read politicos. Some of us were closer than others in the beginnning, but over the years friendships have deepened. We have incorporated new and dear friends along the way. We've married. Shifted careers. Gotten graduate degrees. Experienced a heart-wrenching divorce. Had our first children."

Ah, good times!
We have truly experienced the ups and downs of life together. I was the heart-wrenching divorce, and these women were my lifeline. When I tried to hide my heartbreak with humor, they literally dragged me out of my bed and forced me to talk. The next year when I was stumbling through the dating world, they listened to my embarassing stories and somehow convinced me it would get better. A year later I told them about the promising new man in my life, and how afraid I was to give him my whole heart. They told me it was time to trust again and I did. This past year, they threw me a wedding shower at OBX and all of them came to Austin for the big day. I wouldn't have gotten there without these brilliant and beautiful women. They are my biggest fans and I am theirs. To Mary, Magda, Lisa, Liz and Michelle... thank you for being a friend!    

Friday, June 29, 2012

Star Wars and Roses

When we began planning our wedding, we joked about a Star Wars theme.  I wasn't sure I could pull off the Princess Leia bikini, but the white robe and side buns could work.  I knew J.W. would look smashing in the Han Solo vest.  When the pastor asks if anyone has reason to object, J.W. thought it would be hysterical to have a friend wearing an Admiral Ackbar mask jump up and yell, "It's A Trap." 

We didn't go through with all these plans, but we did have a Millennium Falcon cake as a tribute to his late mother, Linda.  She made a memorable Millennium Falcon cake for his 5th birthday that we hoped to recreate.  As luck would have it, our next-door neighbor owns a bakery and is a confection artist.  So we took the Star Wars toys out of storage to serve as models.  J.W. came up with the brilliant idea to have a "Just Married" sign across the back and instead of tin cans trailing behind it there would be Storm Trooper helmets.  Angi at Blue Note Bakery brought his vision to life in exquisite detail.  Thanks to ThinkGeek.com we found molds for the perfect favors - R2D2 in white chocolate and dark chocolate versions of Han Solo in carbonite.  We also had a light saber candle to decorate the table.   

When J.W. and his best friend Andy wondered about the girls they would one day marry, there was a big question about how to introduce them to Star Wars.  Would they start by watching Episode IV:  A New Hope (the Original Star Wars to casual fans) or the more recent Episode I:  The Phantom Menace?  Would these women truly understand the Force?  Luckily J.W. didn't have to introduce me to Star Wars.  I grew up in a movie-obsessed family and spent many weekends sitting next to my dad watching Luke discover the truth about Vader.  

Star Wars actually played a role in how I met J.W.  A few weeks before I was hanging out with a classic bad boy I thought I could convert.  My long-time friend and guru, Adrian, warned me that I wasn't capable of casual dating because I put my heart and soul into every relationship.  He warned me to steer clear of the dark side.  I actually broke things off by saying my Yoda wouldn't allow it, but I was still under the spell of this sith lord.  Then my college roomie and her husband, Holly and Chad, came for a visit.  They were training for a trip to Machu Picchu, so we decided to hit the hiking trail.  They invited their high school buddy who was Peru bound too.  The four of us began the trek to the Hill of Life on Austin's Greenbelt.  I spent the first 30 minutes blabbing to Holly about my dating woes and hardly paid attention to J.W.  Then we had to stop for a bathroom break and it turned into a discussion about trail etiquette.  What do you do when a fellow hiker has to go, but there aren't any trees around to obscure the view?  We asked J.W. specifically because he'd gone on a sub-zero winter climb in New Hampshire recently.  I innocently asked what the other hikers did when he had to relieve himself.  With a cocky grin and deadpan delivery he said, "In my case, they gave me a slow clap."  He gave the perfect 80's movie slow clap to illustrate his point.  He had me at the slow clap.  
Me, J.W., Holly and Chad hiking in Yosemite

I was glued to J.W. for the rest of the hike.  We bonded over our love of movies.  There was a debate about which Jim Carrey movie stood the test of time - Dumb and Dumber or Ace Ventura.  We talked about the dream cast for a movie version of the A-Team, but sadly Hollywood didn't listen when they actually made the film a few months later.  If they had George Clooney would have been Hannibal and good ole Jim Carrey would have experienced a career revival as Murdock.  I was planning to write a bestseller about my recent divorce, so there was even talk about who would play me in the movie version.  I liked the idea of Reese Witherspoon, but she's too type A, so we landed on the poor man's Reese, Anna Faris, who starred in those silly Scary Movies.  We laughed, sparks flew and our relationship began.  Now we are officially hitched and our favorite thing to do is cuddle up and watch a movie.  Star Wars is in regular rotation on the cable movie channels, so we've spent lazy Saturdays watching the space drama play out.

J.W. and best man Andy

In planning our dream wedding, we thought the Star Wars cake would be a fun highlight.  We had no idea Star Wars would be the theme of the best man's toast and the emotional core of a day we'll remember our whole lives.  J.W. and Andy met at age three and have been like brothers ever since.  We adore Andy and his wife Deanna.  We've spent many weekends together, even one where we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.  Andy regaled our wedding guests with the story of meeting me for the first time and realizing that his best friend had finally met the one.  He talked about our love for each other and our love for movies.  He ended the toast by referencing J.W.'s favorite epic tale, you guessed it, Star Wars.  He talked about the end of Episode VI:  Return of the Jedi.  Andy reminded everyone that while those furry Ewoks danced around celebrating the triumph of good over evil, there were three specters smiling down.  Andy said he thought the same thing was happening at our wedding.  Instead of Luke's father, Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi, our spirits were three parents who left this world too early.  J.W.'s parents, Linda and Gene, were standing next to my dad, Marty, and they were smiling down from heaven.  Tears flowed as we remembered our parents and realized the people we love never truly leave us.  It was a magical moment that I will cherish forever just as I will cherish J.W.